He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
