Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
