you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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