Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
