i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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