so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I need a beard to bite.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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