Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
