If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
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Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize