fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
