Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
