he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
