I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
