my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
They have beer where we have blood.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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