mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
