She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
