my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
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Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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