Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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