Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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