i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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