I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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