areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
