Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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