tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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