hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
