Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
