I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
