so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
True strength comes from lack of pants
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
