You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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