my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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