My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
