if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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