I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
