Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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