this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
