I hope mine doesn't look like that
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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