I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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