I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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