Im at strip club and am horny
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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