It's like God shit irony all over that family
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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