All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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