Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll

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  (248): Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll http://tfl.nu/ubae
  Replies (0) Good night (556) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo

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  (803): You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo http://tfl.nu/7wt5
  Replies (35) Good night (3933) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me

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  (937): he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me http://tfl.nu/l4dj
  Replies (24) Good night (1672) Bad night (2539) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.

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  (201): I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football. http://tfl.nu/9dil
  Replies (35) Good night (2866) Bad night (2927) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...

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  (704): so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie... http://tfl.nu/pw66
  Replies (40) Good night (1184) Bad night (5853) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's like her boobs came off with her bra

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  (412): it's like her boobs came off with her bra http://tfl.nu/ua1r
  Replies (55) Good night (1455) Bad night (15258) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower

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  (270): The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower http://tfl.nu/ihik
  Replies (17) Good night (6988) Bad night (883) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  You could give me a blowjob later? :)

  (1-321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I meant do something romantic..

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Blowjob In the moonlight?

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  (321): You could give me a blowjob later? :) (1-321): I meant do something romantic.. (321): Blowjob In the moonlight? http://tfl.nu/na1u
  Replies (13) Good night (6056) Bad night (1275)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me

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  (814): i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me http://tfl.nu/y6ou
  Replies (16) Good night (3800) Bad night (1007) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year

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  (205): Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year http://tfl.nu/pmyc
  Replies (7) Good night (894) Bad night (1689) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring

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  (860): Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring http://tfl.nu/m17v
  Replies (4) Good night (1740) Bad night (626)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in

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  (414): got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in http://tfl.nu/o0j8
  Replies (5) Good night (1650) Bad night (547)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.

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  (703): I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding. http://tfl.nu/inbb
  Replies (5) Good night (1780) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.

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  (775): all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now. http://tfl.nu/wlt7
  Replies (16) Good night (2333) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play

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  (315): dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play http://tfl.nu/32t6
  Replies (6) Good night (1503) Bad night (270) Order T-Shirt

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