I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
