the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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