I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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