Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
