So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
