is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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