Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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