Me too!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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