Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
