Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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