she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
