Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize