Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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