I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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