Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize