Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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