lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
