pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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