they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The feeling are messing with the penis
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
