Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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