Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
