i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
