Plan B is the new Plan A
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
